Sleep Cycles

THIS WEEK, I realized I had a bad habit that I had to change. I had fallen into a cycle that was depriving me of sleep. Every day I read a Bible passage and journal about it, and during the school year I got pretty good about doing it early in the day. When I do that, my whole day goes better. I have the word in my heart all day long, and I get to put God first and spend some time just enjoying Him before I go to classes and do schoolwork.

But this summer I've been doing it before I go to bed. Not bad. But when it's late, I'm sleepy. It takes me longer to focus on the word, and from time to time I even fall asleep face down next to my open Bible. When I do it this way, I still get to draw near to God, but it's not as full. It becomes something I kind of have to do before I get to go to sleep. And then to make up for staying up later, I get up later too, and then it's too late to do it earlier the next day. It's a frustrating, sleepless cycle.

A couple days ago I did that, and I was exhausted all day long the next day. I didn't feel like doing anything really useful. That night, I told my mom about it, and she challenged me to get up just a little earlier and do it the next morning. So that's what I decided I would do. But first I had to do my reading for tonight.

I'm in the middle of a Bible in a Year program that tells me what to read every day, so I can read the whole thing. Following this program, this is the first thing I read.

Psalm 127: 1-2 "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep."

Now I know this isn't literally written as advice for how to get good sleep, but I thought it was really beautiful that God put this in my way right when I'd just gotten done telling Him how weary I was making myself. I understood that our physical and spiritual rest are important to God. He wants us to seek Him in His word, and sometimes we do need to do uncomfortable things, like fasting, to draw near to Him. But He doesn't want us to hurt ourselves.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Whatever we do or don't do, we belong to God and we have to take care of our bodies. I needed to make a change. The whole point of those verses from Psalm 127 is that God doesn't want us to become weary relying on ourselves, because following Him means learning to lean on Him completely. When I save seeking Him in His word for last, it hinders me both physically and spiritually because I lose sleep and I haven't had the word as much on my mind through everything that happens in the day.

Now I'm doing my best to seek Him as early as I can, and this helps me to make sure I keep my heart and mind chasing after Him all day long. I've been taking time to sit and pray every day that my family and I will get our "daily bread," that God will provide for what we need physically and make us grateful, but even more that we will be hungry for His word.

Matthew 4:3-4 "And the tempter came and said to Him, 'If You are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.' But He answered, 'It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.' ' "

I'm really glad God talked to me about this, because it's so much easier to enjoy His presence when I'm not struggling to keep my eyes open.

I want my time in the word to be like I want my life to be, which is less like a late night study session and more like this: Psalm 63:1 "O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water." A little weariness is good in longing for God, to bring us closer to Him. But He doesn't want us to wear ourselves down. Our health and our joy is important to Him. It's why He instituted the Sabbath for the Jews - if God saw a need to take a rest after creating everything, they could take a day off to just dwell on Him and enjoy His holiness. God doesn't see rest as an optional thing, either for our bodies or for our souls.

God is sovereign, and there is no end to the wonderful depth of His glory. He wants us to want to get to know Him. He asks us to take some time to be still and just see who He is. Now that this isn't going to be so much of a chore for me, I can enjoy getting to know God and what His dreams are, and all day long I can be working with Him in what He is doing to make those big dreams come true.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"