Higher Wisdom

THIS WEEK was the last week of my first year of college. I have enjoyed typing to you about what God has done week by week through it, and I'm excited for what's going to happen next. Looking back on the way God has mapped everything out and kept it all together shows me something about His wisdom. It's beautiful the way He showed up every day, not so that everything would happen my way but so that I could see how much better His way is. In this midst of difficulties, big or small, we can see the way God orchestrates things. This week, I got stung in the foot by some sort of insect. I hadn't had the chance to just sit and be alone with God that day. That thing hurt like heck and made me cry, but in that moment there were two friends close by who came to help me. God blessed me with help from my sisters in Christ right then, and with some encouragement right after. I sat by a wall for over an hour waiting for it to stop hurting so much, but it was a good moment to study 2 Timothy 1. That day wasn't my favorite day ever, but at least I got to hear God talk to me out of a bad mood and a hurting foot. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." It's not the biggest problem, but God made it so that I wouldn't have to be alone in it. It assures me that His will is not for us to be discouraged and immobilized, but to get encouragement from Him and from each other in Him. My family has also been blessed in the precise way my mom's parents have both gotten sick this year. Because Grandma needed Grandpa to be strong for her every day that she was going through her cancer treatments, and the same week that she was better the doctors found Grandpa's kidney problems just in time. His first surgery was this week, and it went really well. God is wise. For a person to be wise is for him to understand that God alone is truly wise, and for him to humble himself before Him. A wise person doesn't trust in himself, and that much takes strong faith that God is going to honor. God understands that that's hard for us. We won't always know the answer or even know His will, but if we trust that He is good and strong and wise, regardless of our circumstances, our strength will come from Him and not from ourselves. Proverbs 3:5-8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones." This morning my pastor referred to Abraham and said that real faith comes from trusting and obeying God, even when we don't understand what He is doing. Even when we don't have all the details. The trust that He is wise, and that He has a way in store to turn the same thing that baffles us into the thing that shows us His glory. Like when Jesus told Peter to fish in the other side of the boat, after he had been fishing in vain for hours: it didn't make any sense, but when he obeyed his nets came close to breaking. Our expectations and preferences aren't necessarily wrong, but it takes faith to act on the knowledge that God's wisdom is higher than our own. My room mate Sarah is about to plunge into the depths of Panama to help establish a sustainable community there. The way God has made the opportunity possible for her despite all odds shows her His hand in it, and she is excited to become a part of it and to get her world shaken by an encounter with true need. Why Panama? Why for two and a half months? What does He have to teach her from having to live without all the comforts of home? It's a hard committment to make, and it's much easier to try to change a smaller, closer piece of the world at home. It wouldn't be bad to volunteer downtown all summer, but God is telling her to go to Panama and she is going. We will pray for her and be thankful for what she is doing every day that she is gone. Her nets are going to be close to breaking. God's wisdom is higher than ours, and I think He delights in showing us both His patience and His trustworthiness. We don't always trust, but He will always show us that we can trust Him. He likes to let us know that He knows best, and that we don't have to understand everything because He already does. That's a relief for me, for sure. His power and His dreams are bigger than we know, so let's trust Him with how He wants to make it all happen.

Together Forever

THIS WEEK I want to praise God for one blessing in particular, the blessing of fellowship. All summer before this first year of college life, I prayed to have the right Christian group and friends surrounding me once I got here. Now, with one short week left before another summer, I see that God has done more than answer this prayer. He has put me in the midst of an amazing thing He is doing on my campus and surrounded me with the best friends I've ever had. There is something about being with other believers and talking to them that edifies your soul. When even just a couple of us get together, it's like a little shard of heaven, because heaven is about fellowship. A fellowship of believers together as a body, a body in fellowship with God forever. It's beautiful the way God gives us things to help each other when we least expect it. This isn't heaven, and things go wrong, and we often need other people who have Jesus living in them to bring us some light in the dark. If the Lord lives in us, then He unites us as His as shows Himself to us through each other. Just this week I've been blessed with a few one-on-one conversations with other believers that have really lifted me up. My discipler, Debbie, has become a great source of encouragement and guidance for me as I try to show Jesus to my classmates. And between me, my roommate Sarah, and our lovely friend Quinn, every one of us always seems to have something to say that another needs to hear right now. I see Christ in my friends all the time. Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered in My name, I am there in the midst of them." Even when a few of us meet up to get frozen yogurt, or to learn how to swing dance, or to invent unusual foods at a party - all of which happened to me in the last few days - I start to think about heaven, and how much fun that's going to be. I wonder if we'll look back on moments like this that we had on earth, moments when we wondered what it would be like to all be together forever once the battle is over, together in the presence of the God we all love. John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." We are here to glorify God and to bless each other. We are here to rejoice together and mourn together. We are here to do the will of God together, whatever it may be, because we can't do this alone. Proverbs 18:1 "A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgement." Yesterday I got such an amazing picture of how God moves through the body of Christ when I went to a CRU leadership meeting. Leaders of all levels and in all areas of the Christian organization came together. First we all shared the things God has done this year that we are thankful for. He has been moving in more ways on just our campus than I could say. He has saved people and given us the strength to overcome challenges in His name. I said that I am thankful that He has answered my prayer to have other Christians around me, and that through them He has shown me His love more than ever before. It was beautiful to be there, because I could see that I have a place in something big and glorious God is doing. He is leading CRU and using its members as He makes His dreams come true on our campus. He has people doing all different jobs, from prayer to using technology at events, all working together to bring glory to His name. I'm happy to be a part of it and to get to see His work. 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 "For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body - whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free - and have all been made to drink into one Spirit." Those moments are highlights for me, when we are all worshipping God together or praying together for one another. Things like that bless me so much, because I know that however God calls each of us to serve with our lives down here, we will all end up together forever with God. John 17:22-23 "And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me."

A Source of Strength

THIS WEEK I feel weak. I'm feeling weaker and weaker lately. And I'm very glad about it, because I'm learning that it's a good thing. It's probably a problem every follower of Christ faces. We start to despair at the things we cannot change or the questions we cannot answer. Our hearts break for the lost around us. We can be discouraged when our own sins come to light one after the other. Especially since last week, when I watched the Passion of the Christ and I realized that God's love is much greater than I can understand, I do feel weak. When I look at a God who is totally glorious and holy and righteous and yet visits the earth with kindness and humility, to the point of death, I see what that makes me. It makes me someone in need of His grace. It makes me really small and pretty powerless next to a God like that. And it even makes me a little frustrated sometimes that I make so many mistakes, and I have so much more growing and learning left to do, just when I think I'm starting to figure it out. Who is this God, this Servant King? And who am I that He cares so much about me? I'm starting to see that weakness is at the heart of receiving grace. The whole idea of grace is really humbling once you realize who is giving it to us, and how much we need it. You can't receive grace without realizing our weakness, and if you live in grace you're going to see just how big our weakness is, the more you see how big God's grace is. I feel like I'm weak because there are a lot of things I want to see and do, but I don't know how because I can't do it by myself. Things like leading my friends to Christ, or participating in faith healings, or knowing the answers to all the questions I still have, things I don't understand about God. But the more I see how little I can do, the more I realize how much God can do. Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" I read about this God who took an enslaved people out of a mighty nation by cutting a sea in half for them to walk through. A God who sent His words to prophets and chose to do great things through lowly people. A God who became a Man and romantically pursues the souls of the world, having died to crush death and rose to breath new life into us. And I see a God who answers prayers that I forgot I prayed. A God who makes His presence known more to His people when things go wrong than at any other time, so we'll know He never leaves. A God who manifests His strength through our weakness, so we'll know that He alone can save. I sometimes get discouraged because I can't do everything, and I often can't do anything. But I know someone who can. I know I use this verse a lot, but it is a source of strength to me. Sarah has written it on the whiteboard that's behind me right now. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." One thing God wants to do in order to make us holy - set apart from the world - is to teach us how much we need Him to make us holy. He uses this to make us different. He shows us that the way to salvation and wisdom and truth is not in ourselves, but in Him. The way to solve life's problems, to have strength and purpose, is in Him. He has big dreams and He will include us in making them come true. Grace overflows from the life of someone who realizes that God does not need his help saving the world, but He has a job for him to do before he comes home. Seeing more of my weakness, all the things I can't do, and don't know, and won't accept, is helping me rely on God's strength. I'm seeing Him bring people close to His heart and reveal Himself to us unmistakeably. He makes life good. Getting to follow Him and abide with Him, now and forever, is a blessing and a joy. He knows He isn't saving angels. He's saving fallen creatures that actually need saving. Our weakness is not a failure, and our inability is actually an advantage. When we see our weakness, we will see God's strength. Because of this we will watch Him come through in our lives and our friends' lives - for health, security, faith, fulfillment, everything we need according to His wisdom, because He is a good God, and He is strong. John 15:5 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing."

See the Savior

THIS WEEK I think I love Jesus more than I ever have before, and that's saying something. If you read what I wrote last week, you know that at Women's Retreat I came to realize that God's love is so boundless that we have no lack. But God hasn't stopped there. The more you know how much God loves us, the more you love Him - and the more you can love other people! Here's one way to look at God's love: I don't know much about the universe, but I know that if it does have limits then it isn't big enough for God's love for us. Because God is not limited in any way! Doesn't that just blow you away? The more you know Him, the more you realize you don't know, and the more you fall in love. Today is Easter, one of the those days in the year that can be an amazing reminder of how God loves us. The way we celebrate in America, it can also be a serious distraction from Him. I mean, I love chocolate. I love chocolate that is shaped like a bunny. I look forward to any day when I can expect to be given a whole lot of chocolate. But what about that Savior - let's not take our eyes off that Savior who died, physically and spiritually, and rose so we can live. He didn't die on a cross made of gold - or of chocolate, for that matter. I watched the Passion of the Christ on Good Friday. That was hard. It left me wondering what kind of God we belong to - how do you speak to a God who takes one look at the sin of the world and says, "Okay, here's My Son. Surely My own life will be enough to bring you back to Me"? I've been going through Exodus and I've seen that God has been painting pictures of what our salvation would be since ancient times. Look at the Passover lamb of Exodus 12. As a part of fighting for the freedom of His people Israel from their enslavement in Egypt, He was about to kill all the firstborn in the land. But the way His people would be set apart was that their children and livestock would be saved when they mark their doors with the blood of a perfect lamb. He told them not to break any of its bones, and not to let any of it remain. In the same way, we are saved from death when we are marked by the blood of the Lamb of God who stands in our place to redeem us. None of His bones were broken, and His sacrifice is not wasted. We are set apart not because of who we are, but because of who He is. Later, in Exodus 16, God sent bread from heaven called Manna to feed the redeemed people in the wilderness. The food was perfectly satisfying and there was always enough. Jesus calls Himself the true bread from heaven, sent so that we will never be hungry. I've been asking God to help me see more of what His love is like. As a result, He has just blown me away. A problem I tend to have is that when I read about Jesus' death and resurrection in the Bible, I tend to forget how it all really looked and felt. I can see what the events are and what the Lord said, but I often forget to think about His pain. I think it's because realizing what He had to go through makes me think about how much I need it, and it isn't fun to think about how much I need a perfect Savior to lay down His life. It's stressful to remember how hard that was for Jesus. It's more pleasant, less challenging, not humbling at all, to think of Jesus like He is represented in a lot of artwork. He isn't covered in blood and lacerations with exposed muscles. He isn't crying for His Father, misshapen and disjointed. He looks like He is sleeping. How about this? Psalm 22:14 "I am poured out like water, and all My bones are out of joint; My heart is like wax; it has melted within Me." I think the reason I have grown to love Jesus more than ever is that I have seen more of His love than I have before. Isaiah 53:5 "But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed." Yeah, Jesus was scared, but He did it for two reasons - to fulfill the will of God, and out of love for us to save us. John 10: 17-18 "Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father." Enjoy the chocolate, but may your love for the Savior just grow and expand so much that you can't fit it all inside. I find that when you see Jesus, I want to be more like Him. I want other people to see him too. I'm falling in love with Him, and I always want to love Him more than I already do. I see my weakness and I'm excited to see the ways He will manifest His strength in my life. How much must He love us, if He loves us even though we put the holes in His hands? Celebrate, because He is risen and so are we. And we get to spend forever in the arms of the God of unending love.

Grace Like An Ocean

THIS WEEK I went to the annual CRU Women's Retreat. It was a getaway for girls in Daytona Beach, where we stayed at an oceanside hotel and learned about God's love and grace. I just got back a couple hours ago. God did more than I can begin to talk about, because He moved in each of our lives in a singular and special way. I love weekends like this, when a bunch of people that Jesus saved can meet up and eat together, learn and study together, dance, pray, sing, and spend time together. It makes me really grateful for the girls He has put in my life. I started today by going out with them behind the hotel and watching the sun come up over the ocean, and just being in awe over the God who can make things like that. I think it's God's will for the redeemed to gather together and talk about how great it will be in heaven to look back on the things we are saying and doing together now, writing in the sand and looking out over the sea. The theme for the weekend was "Grace like an Ocean." There was a particular focus on idolatry, but we apprached it in a way I never thought about before. We turn to idols because of good desires that we try to satisfy in the wrong ways, and that happens when we don't really believe something about God. It might be His love, His trustworthiness, His goodness, or any other thing about Him that He says is true. The funny thing to me is that not very long ago at all both CRU and my church were covering the topic of idolatry, and I didn't particularly identify much of it in my life. This time I realized something that I wasn't getting right. I knew that God loves each of us overwhelmingly, but I didn't fully grasp that His love is truly boundless. I probably knew it, but it wasn't sinking in. As a result my love for the lost was limited, and the power of the cross wasn't taking on as full a form as it might have in my life. I felt like I needed more love than I had. I had begun to worship a wish. So I went outside and dunked myself in the ocean. I let the swells sweep me off my feet and surround me. God took my eyes off the horizon - a place infinitely far away - and showed me the enormous volume it embraces. If His grace is like an ocean, what sin is not concealed? If His love is like an ocean, what more do I need? This weekend we talked about Isaiah 44, which is about what it looks like to God when we make idols for ourselves. It's like using part of a hunk of wood to warm yourself and cook your food, and part of it as a god you can turn to for deliverance. v. 20 "He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot deliever himself or say, 'Is there not a lie in my right hand?'" But God wants us to worship only Him so He can bless us. He wants to prove that He is more than enough. v. 22 "I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist; return to Me, for I have redeemed you." Zephaniah 3:17 was also a major verse to us this weekend: "The Lord your God is in your midst, a Mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over your with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." Do you wonder what it sounds like when God sings? What is it like for Him to celebrate from the bottom of His beautiful heart over us, His people? This isn't heaven yet, but we will know someday. He reminded me this weekend that we are our Savior's bride. He saved us because of love. We are His treasure. Our understanding of our sin increases with understanding His holiness. The result should be condemnation, but it's grace instead. The more we recognize the depth of his love, the less we long for it in other places and the more we can love other people. He pours His love into usso that we overflow. But when I think about it, God's love and grace aren't exactly like an ocean. In my head I know that oceans actually do have limits. When I look at the horizon, I know that somewhere out there are the borders of islands and eventually other continents. In the very first chapter of the Bible He separated land from sea. Both have boundaries. But His love and His grace don't, because God is not a limited person in any respect. I was blessed by this weekend, and as I realize the boundlessness of our Lord's love I am already feeling my capacity for love, and my ability to pour it back out, beginning to expand. Wrapped up in the arms of a God who is love, we lack nothing.