The Tough Major

THIS WEEK I am exhausted. I love college, but I spend a lot of my time in the Studio working on my models, and I'm working on the final of Project One: The Cube. I have hardly any time for my other classes, and I can't believe I've only been doing this for three weeks.

You see, I'm majoring in Architecture. Whenever I tell other students that I'm in Architecture, they express awe and terror. Who has ever seen an Architecture student? Don't they live in the Studio and never leave? Whatever happened to Bruce, who started architecture three years ago and hasn't been seen since?

And I sigh. Yeah, Architecture's really hard. But I love it, and I just can't stop. There's no other major for me.

When I come back to my room late at night and still see basswood sticks and chipboard in my mind all over the ceiling, I want to collapse and sleep. But I never want to quit. Because I love it, and I really just can't stop.

Then I remember another persistent love that endures despite all difficulty, and I'm more certain that I will survive. When I fear I will end my days trapped in a maze of planes and lines with only my cell phone to distract me, I recall that for years God has been working on me like I'm working on Architecture, and He's still not done.

I've only been in Architecture for a few weeks, so I know that despite the way the study fills my time and my mind, I know almost nothing yet. Then I look at the Teacher's Assistants, higher-level students who know everything I'm doing wrong, and I'm amazed that I will be there one day. Just when I think I know something, I don't. Nevertheless, I am learning. I will "get it" soon.

Now isn't that just like the way life is with God? He starts out on us, and we're a complete mess. It's a slow process to gain spiritual maturity and understanding. But with guidance from those who have been there, we do grow.

I am like Architecture. It demands a lot of patience, takes a lot of time, makes me laugh and cry to my Mama. It gets me on my feet and it brings me to my knees, and I know that with a lot of work it's going places. And it's definitely not going to work without God's help. Architecture does this to me, and I do it to God.

I remember Philippians 1:3-6, and I find it very encouraging. "[3] I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, [4] always in every prayer of mine making rquest for you all with joy, [5] for you fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, [6] being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

When God saves us, the work has only begun. We have miles of growth to cover. We have so much room to mature spiritually. There are days when we push Him away, cross our arms and are impossible to deal with. Just like in Architecture, sometimes we are so far from the goal with so much left to do that it's hard to imagine we will ever sit still and cooperate. Sometimes the superglue just won't dry, and the basswood is disconnecting itseld, and the whole model looks like a mess.

So why does He bother? Why doesn't He "transfer to another major?" It's because He loves us, and He knows what we can be if we stick with Him. He sees the potential we have to be great for His glory. I see that in Architecture, and it's encouraging that He sees that in me and each of us.

I've also seen that trying to grow spiritually, as well as to get better at Architecture, is not going to work out without God's help. If I tried to become an architect on my own, I would end up jaded and tired with a dead look in my eyes, and I can't live with that idea. In the same way, trying to grow closer to God without seeking God and depending on Him is like trying to use superglue to attach something to a blue foam armature. It doesn't work. (Superglue eats foam.)

But if we trust God as the Ruler by which we measure ourselves, as the Triangle that will always keep us straight, then we won't fail.

Jesus tells us in John 15:4-5, "[4] Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. [5] I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."

I'm about to go back to the Studio and work with new energy. Unless God calls me to something else instead, I'm sticking with this subject that I love, and I'm going to see it grow. And when I'm exhausted, with blue foam in my hair and glue on my fingers, I'll remember the work God is doing on me and be thankful that He hasn't given up.