At His Feet

THIS WEEK I was blessed with the chance to visit my family in Texas while my parents went to Seattle to celebrate their 20th anniversary. It was a very fun time: we spent a few nights at the Great Wolf Lodge, which is a large hotel with a water park; we celebrated my uncle John’s birthday by going to the Medieval Times Dinner Theater, and P. F. Chang’s the next day; I saw a lot of my baby cousin Elijah and his mama my aunt Jen, and my uncle Steve and aunt Stacy. My grandpa and grandma like to play Gospel music in the car, and I had a lot of fun with that, especially when we listened to a Casting Crowns CD they bought (“Until the Whole World Hears”). We had such good food, so much fun, and such a good time.
On Friday we visited a college that I have in the past displayed interest in. We toured Rice University and saw its beautiful buildings and heard about its impressive reputation. I am interested in architecture and I hope to find a place to fit into that field, and Rice is actually rated as having the second-best Architecture program in the country. That’s just great, right? I should love this place. But a part of my heart was tearing as I toured that school because my future was suddenly brought way too close to me for comfort.
There are things I like about the school, and things I don’t like so much, but the school itself is not what I want to tell you about this week. Rice is in Texas. The first thing I look at when I receive mail from a college is its location: not Florida or Georgia? Probably not for me. Throw it away. That’s because I love my family, and because I do not feel prepared to go far away. I have never moved in my life except when I was a year old, before I can remember. I began to wonder whether I’d be able to handle it if God wants me to go far away. What if He’s calling me to California or Michigan and I just can’t hear because I’m being stubborn? I realized as I was taking that tour that my whole life is just around the corner: first I’ll go to college (only God knows where), then I’ll graduate and get a job (only God know what field), then I’ll probably get married (only God knows to whom), and one day I’ll have kids and be old and retire and all that. It hurt my heart that afternoon even to talk about Rice’s architecture program. It would have hurt me to talk about any school’s architecture program. I actually needed to take a minute alone to calm down because I was so unnerved.
I don’t know what to do with my life! I don’t know what’s good for me! Jeremiah 17:9 (thanks Rina) says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” I can’t trust myself to figure out my life. I was very, very scared. College used to be too far away to think about. Now it is too close to think about.
I like this new Casting Crowns CD. I count it as a blessing. God speaks to us in many ways, and I think music is one of those ways. There is a song called “At Your Feet” which I strongly recommend you look up and listen to. God knows that we’re no good on our own. He knows we need Him, and He’s not hiding. He’s just waiting for us each to acknowledge that fact.
I know very well that God has a plan for my life. I think about it a lot. I know very well who Jesus is and what He’s done. I think about Him a lot. But this week I needed a reminder, just to make sure I don’t forget, and God gave it to me in this song.
My favorite part of the song (because it’s relevant for me this week): “Here at Your feet I lay my future down. All of my dreams, I give to You know. And I find peace, I find peace. (Chorus) Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet, oh to dwell and never leave! Jesus, Jesus, at Your feet, there is nowhere else for me. There is nowhere else for me.”
This song is about acknowledging one’s need for God’s will to be done while surrendering one’s own ambitions and desires. Surrendering ambitions and desires does not mean locking yourself up inside a church and refuse to think about anything besides the content of the Bible. It means you allow your plans to be very tentative and to make sure your desires match with God’s desires. It means making your plan into an early sketch which is ready to be erased as God draws in the final lines. It means letting Him be on the throne of your heart, the thing that directs every decision and every move, instead of letting the whims and dictates of an evil heart guide you, as you ask God to search you and help you see yourself as He sees you. I ask Him whether I have any idols that need smashing, any bad habit that needs changing, and I ask Him to enable me and empower me with His Spirit so that I can improve and be a better servant. And He responds. He really, really does.
I am grateful for this song because it’s exactly what I needed this week. It reminds me where I belong. The best place to live is at Jesus’ feet. It’s true! Because living at Jesus’ feet means living in humility, in a state of submission to His will and of adoration of Jesus as King. That’s who we’re supposed to be. Our faith is not supposed to be the part of our lives that happens only Sunday. It’s not the part that happens Sunday plus before meals and before bed, when we pray. Our faith is supposed to be our life, because Jesus is the Life. That means that everything we do is done through faith. Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
I want very much to make decisions that will please God. Sometimes I worry that He’ll call me here or there or to this or that person or this or that task or occupation, and I won’t hear because I wasn’t listening carefully enough, or because I just didn’t want to obey because it’s hard to give up what I want. What He showed me this week is that not only does He have a plan which nobody will stop Him from fulfilling perfectly, He makes His call loud and clear. He may not speak directly into my ear with a trumpet, but He is definitely not writing down His command and hiding it under a hat for me to guess. It just doesn’t work that way. He will make me know what He wants, and then I have to make the choice to obey.
For example, at the end of last year I couldn’t help but feel it would be a good idea to create a blog. I had been reading Rina’s blog, and it seemed like something right to do. I asked Rina for her opinion and she said it would be a great way to witness to others. Now I’m looking back at what drove me to create a blog and to keep up with it each week, and I realize that this is something that God wanted me to do. And I pray each week the story I share will glorify Him and that He’ll give me words to share what He’s teaching me, and He shows me it’s working, to keep me encouraged. I love that God is not distant, and that He doesn’t keep us guessing. He’ll guide me to the right thing even before I know I should look. And this time I do know I should look: Where in the world should I go to college? What should I study? Should I ever travel overseas? Who should I marry someday and when? What is God’s plan for me and how do I know?
So He tells me that I do not have to know, because He has all my days mapped out already. It’ll work out before I even notice. It is not up to me to find what’s best for me. Christian life is not a journey to seek knowledge of God’s plan but a journey to seek God and let Him carry out His plan. And if I seek God first I know He’ll work the rest of this out.
I’m grateful that He has not left me all alone, and that He’s still here to take my heart by the hand and turn my mountains into molehills. Jesus repeatedly told us not to worry. In Matthew 6:31-34 He gives us famous words to live by to keep us from worrying, because God doesn’t want His sheep to worry all the time. “[31] Therefore do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ [ 32] For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. [33] But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. [34] Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Apply this to yourself. For the first verse plug in your worries: Jesus says not to worry, saying “Where will I go to college?” or “What will I study?” or “What does God want me to do?” or “Where and with whom will I spend my life?” For the second verse notice His response to all these worries, which are more than you have named. “For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.” God knows what I need and He knows what’s good for my life. He knows where it’s good for me to be, and when, and with whom, and He doesn’t ever command me to plan my own life. Just to trust Him that He’s got this all figured out, even when it doesn’t look like it could make any sense. Like a Rubik’s cube. I’ve seen people solve it. It never, ever looks like it’s almost solved until it’s totally solved. God knows how to solve every Rubik’s cube. It’s funny. I’ve never been able to solve one of those. He’s going to solve it for me and for you. For the third verse we must write a new purpose onto our hearts. “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.” This is more than a top priority. This is a way of life. It’s what I was talking about earlier: living by faith in Jesus. It’s keeping God’s desire for righteousness and for obedience as the glass through which we view our lives. We must live first for Him to be pleased. What happens then? “And all these things shall be added to you.” Living at Jesus’ feet is living in a state of perpetual trust that God is going to take care of everything.
Finally look at the fourth verse. Jesus is telling us not to worry. Cool it. Chillax. God’s got you covered, even when it doesn’t look like it. He’s got you in the belly of a fish even when you’re deep in the ocean being eaten by the guilt of disobedience. He’s holding onto your hand even when it looks like the whole ocean is about to empty itself on top of you. He’s embracing you tightly in His grace even when the world hates you. Realize that God is greater than any problem. Sometimes He even uses problems, even huge problems, to make us trust Him more. Even is your relative is sick and not getting better, even if you’re losing everything, even if you’ve lost your purpose, He can turn the whole thing into a way to grow, and to grow closer to Him, if you’ll live at His feet and trust Him.
This week I pray I could be better at living at Jesus feet. I can only guess where I’ll be in five, ten, twenty years, but He doesn’t have to guess. He has always known what I will have for breakfast tomorrow. There is no way I could ever slip out of His hand, and I know His plan involves a happy ending for those who seek Him first and trust Him. The King is in control in my life, and in yours.